The Hawk-Mo Hotwire

Micro Entrepreneurism, Simple Living & Art

thinking… typewriting… part I

I seriously start to question the practicality of a long term loving relationship. Not whether or not its possible, but whether or not our expectations are realistic from the beginning. I started to compare intimate relationships to friendships because it is curious to me, one, why friendships last, and two, why they are always the fall back and punt plan. The best I can determine at this point is that friends last because there doesn’t exist an expectation of always together. Good friendships you can walk away from for an undesignated amount of time, and come back to just like nothing changed. And there is an awesome beauty in that. Relationships on the other hand don’t traditionally work like that. We date someone or marry someone and we expect them to be our always best friend. We not only lose the ability to be on our own, but I think in some cases we forget to be by ourselves, and be ourselves, and I believe there is an inherent healthyness in separating the we into an I and you. In addition to that, when we are single our world is made up of a bunch of different groups, our world has variety, and that variety is key.

I’ve been realizing a lot of things. One is that the relationship should never be considered a loss or a failure. It is what it is, it lasts as long as it does, and in most cases it is better to have tried it then to have kept on being friends with what ifs, or to just let the opportunity pass you by. They have put me in a mental pickle. Here I am one side of me being sad about the sad state of relationships, and how it seems like they are essentially destine to end, and then the other part of me being totally supportive of people taking risks, making the hard choices, and doing what they need to be doing for themselves. It isnt selfish, its life, and its yours.

A couple of cheesy phrases come to mind: “nothing ventured, nothing gained” and “love like you’ve never been hurt”. Boo I know. But there is something to be said for both of them. And then of course there is the whole, who cares what someone else ever said about anything, doesn’t matter one goddamn bit to me. Im going to figure my own stuffout. Quotes are for losers. Man, I am in conflict.

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About mudly

Mud is main blog writer extraordinaire, picture guru, and the garden and adventure instigator. She loves to cook, but doesn’t much like following a recipe. She also loves typewriters, the color turquoise, and wearing tie dye with stripes. And she dorks out on permies.com while dreaming up and planning her next garden.

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This entry was posted on June 16, 2008 by in Relationships.

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