Micro Entrepreneurism, Simple Living & Art
now im on to this whole semi-level of confusion about how to be ok with the status quo, as in im happy. plain and simple. and yet also able to recognize, and understand very much, alot of things about me, and where i am, and who i am, and how i am, that i need to, want to, should, and will change. how does the balance of all that exist. here i am again able to see both sides and struggling with not wanting to have to choose. and in this particular case, really truly believing that i dont want to have to choose. i want to be able to be happy with where i am, because part of being where i am is knowing that i am going all of those places. changing what i want to, how i want to. can that be the future, the plan, and part of the present all at the same time? what if the plan is set in motion.
one side would say that i cant really be that motivated if im ok with where im at. but i think im talking different. i think i am motivated, and i am growing, and i am pushing myself, and i want that change, and all of that is very much a part of who i am right now, which is why im happy. im challenged. by myself (on a couple of different levels). by others (and again, in totally different realms). my happy is directly proportionate to my level of challengedness and my ability to see where that is going to take me. success or failure ill still come out the other side a better person for having gone in.