The Hawk-Mo Hotwire

Micro Entrepreneurism, Simple Living & Art

a little catch up. a little rewind. a little random.

the rest of all of this is in some fashion related to magfest. how exactly might not be apparent, but i dont believe this to be of specific importance.

dont know where to start, so im just going to dive in

i was so nervous about going alone that i actually psyched myself out, the only thing that kept me going is that there was no freakin way i wasnt going to go because i had waiting too long already, and this was the year i had committed and bought the ticket. but once i got up and started packing i was ok. and once i was in the car and officially on my way, i was beyond excited- the experience was out there waiting for me, i knew damn well id be fine, better then fine, and make the most of it. what i didnt know is just how beyond words spectacular it was going to be. but surprises are still awesomely, well surprising. and glorious. and fantabulous. i could go on. but im pretty sure you get the memo.

when im on my own in a situation im unsure of i go into this wierd little internal survival mode. i just go out and do, and have a good time doing it, but i dont push, i dont do anything extraneous that makes me feel uncomfortable. i become infinitely responsible. i do what i want by myself, knowing that i can, i will, and im good. and yet here, above all places, i knew it was ultimately somewhat sad to be there alone. it was and is, an experience to be shared. what i later realized that the beauty of it is that no matter what it is shared. solo or with a group you are never alone, its merely a different experience. but no less amazing. and no less good for the soul. because in the end, its really just about being. right there, in the moment. with who ever else happens to be a part of that moment with you. its about knowing the moment and living the moment in the moment and not needing someone else, or anything else to be there with you. get lost it. get caught up in it. but if youre there you might as well be in it, because there really isnt any better place to be. and it is everywhere. the festival consumed me. time was of little importance. the experience was everywhere… for me, most prominently in the music, but also in the people, the place, the atmosphere, the culture, the ideas, the vibe. i truly wish sleeping had been unnecessary because it just felt like time when i was missing out, and yet i wasnt bothered by it, just duly noted. i wasnt bothered by anything. how could i be? i lived in a world of my own control. and it was beautiful.

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About mudly

Mud is main blog writer extraordinaire, picture guru, and the garden and adventure instigator. She loves to cook, but doesn’t much like following a recipe. She also loves typewriters, the color turquoise, and wearing tie dye with stripes. And she dorks out on permies.com while dreaming up and planning her next garden.

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