Micro Entrepreneurism, Simple Living & Art
one would think by this time that I would have reached a certain level of comfort with the ups and downs and all arounds… the cycles. and yet they never stop making me catch my breath. they still make me stop. i have to reread. I have to rethink. i have to clear my head. i have to walk away. i have to write, and by doing that I can usually begin to focus and start to see a way through. i have at least learned not to freeze in a moment of panic. i allow myself to feel whatever it is, knowing full well there will be a resolution, just not sure what it will be, but knowing in the great scheme of things it will merely be a hiccup, perhaps the inspiration for a blog post, eventually a book… maybe if its really good, even a painting. but certainly not a reason for my world to stop spinning… just maybe slow down for a little bit, take some more time, get off the momentum freight train, look around, and go on picking up the pieces and putting them back together- how i want to, but limited by how i’m allowed to. nothing in this world is a one sided story.
for every day i walk in glory, i know the break downs are coming. i used to believe that they were preventable, and i just wasn’t strong enough. now i think that that is a foolish belief. instead, i realize of course that the lows are here to balance the highs. as obvious as it sounds, the reminder is nice to hear- there is no good without bad, and if i can remove the connotations that go with “bad” and look at it from the perspective that the bad is merely a challenge on the way to good, or great, or spectacular, then working through the bads becomes just that- a challenge on the way to something greater that i haven’t known yet. and i love a good challenge, i’d be bored without them, i wouldn’t be here without them, i wouldn’t be me without them.