The Hawk-Mo Hotwire

Micro Entrepreneurism, Simple Living & Art

on the attack

As I’m struggling my way up, over, and down the mountain bike trail today my head is filled with determination. Really, it was before I even got there. I was determined just to go. And I was determined to go by myself.

Was I a little scared? Yea. Nervous? You betchya. Unsure of what to expect? Most definitely. But all of that was at a level that screamed at me I needed to go. I’m smart enough to know my limits and ride safe, so the worst case scenario would be a long walk back to the car. So I went.

As I was leaving I had that nagging feeling that I was forgetting something, but I triple checked- directions, bike, helmet, shoes, socks, water, cell phone, food… I remembered everything but the trail map. Whoops. I took a look at the one posted at the trail head, determined a somewhat easy looking shortish loop and scribbled a rough map on a piece of paper. I’m the only person there, so now worst case scenario was I get lost theres no hope of running into to someone and asking for directions, but there was a sign posted about a group ride later, so I still had a plan C.

Off I went. Back to that determination tangent I started with. I think I only rode 4 miles, it took me over an hour, I walked as much as I rode. I did get lost. I wore more spider webs then I ever have in my life and I didn’t panic. I figured out I can climb almost anything so long as I get to granny gear quick, keep my front tire on the ground, and don’t stop. Going down is a whole nother story. And I need to practice fallen tree jumps/bumps. Thorny bushes scratch a lot, bugs are annoying, creek crossings are pretty cool, long grass makes me think of ticks crawling everywhere, and sometimes the price of failure was a long tumble down the mountain. So I took it easy.

I was determined to be there, to ride as much as I could, to be challenged, and to sweat but I wasn’t determined to be stupid and hurt myself.

As I’m pushing my bike up yet another climb I didn’t quite make I was wondering why I’m so determined. It isn’t about going mtbing I think so much as its about being me and being independent. I’m determined to do what I am capable of doing and what I want to do. Not for a prize, or notoriety, or success, but for me. For satisfaction at the end of the day.


About mudly

Mud is main blog writer extraordinaire, picture guru, and the garden and adventure instigator. She loves to cook, but doesn’t much like following a recipe. She also loves typewriters, the color turquoise, and wearing tie dye with stripes. And she dorks out on while dreaming up and planning her next garden.

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This entry was posted on June 27, 2010 by in Everything All in One Place and tagged , .

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