Micro Entrepreneurism, Simple Living & Art
As I’m struggling my way up, over, and down the mountain bike trail today my head is filled with determination. Really, it was before I even got there. I was determined just to go. And I was determined to go by myself.
Was I a little scared? Yea. Nervous? You betchya. Unsure of what to expect? Most definitely. But all of that was at a level that screamed at me I needed to go. I’m smart enough to know my limits and ride safe, so the worst case scenario would be a long walk back to the car. So I went.
As I was leaving I had that nagging feeling that I was forgetting something, but I triple checked- directions, bike, helmet, shoes, socks, water, cell phone, food… I remembered everything but the trail map. Whoops. I took a look at the one posted at the trail head, determined a somewhat easy looking shortish loop and scribbled a rough map on a piece of paper. I’m the only person there, so now worst case scenario was I get lost theres no hope of running into to someone and asking for directions, but there was a sign posted about a group ride later, so I still had a plan C.
Off I went. Back to that determination tangent I started with. I think I only rode 4 miles, it took me over an hour, I walked as much as I rode. I did get lost. I wore more spider webs then I ever have in my life and I didn’t panic. I figured out I can climb almost anything so long as I get to granny gear quick, keep my front tire on the ground, and don’t stop. Going down is a whole nother story. And I need to practice fallen tree jumps/bumps. Thorny bushes scratch a lot, bugs are annoying, creek crossings are pretty cool, long grass makes me think of ticks crawling everywhere, and sometimes the price of failure was a long tumble down the mountain. So I took it easy.
I was determined to be there, to ride as much as I could, to be challenged, and to sweat but I wasn’t determined to be stupid and hurt myself.
As I’m pushing my bike up yet another climb I didn’t quite make I was wondering why I’m so determined. It isn’t about going mtbing I think so much as its about being me and being independent. I’m determined to do what I am capable of doing and what I want to do. Not for a prize, or notoriety, or success, but for me. For satisfaction at the end of the day.