The Hawk-Mo Hotwire

Micro Entrepreneurism, Simple Living & Art

Stop before you get to the tunnel

You know. The tunnel in which you’re waiting for the light, and hoping its not a train.

There is a fine line between stopping, quitting, giving up, moving on, not starting, and never even trying.

I can barely make that line out for myself, let alone tell anybody else where it is for them, but I think I just saw it pretty clearly for me. For an instant.

Trevor called me last night and we talked for a long time. It was the best break up ever.

Its clear to me that Trevor and I started.
And its clear to me that I tried to give it a chance, that I believed.
Its clear to me that I didn’t give up and that I didn’t quit.

And it is now, also clear to me, that this is the time to move on. Completely.

There is no friendship to try and salvage. No lingering hope that he will come around. He has admitted that he is stuck, and he wants to be stuck, because its safer there. I’m not turning down anything down, because he isn’t really offering anything.

Even though I gave it a real chance, and allowed myself to care, and to believe, and to feel real feelings, I’m not mad at him right now, and I’m not going to chalk this up as another reason to not begin again. Instead, its a lesson in how it should end.

I could ask for no better end to a relationship. In its own way, it was exquisitely beautiful. It ended with honesty and a mutual understanding and respect for our different places and different directions.

Might I repeat:

It was beautiful. I smiling right now thinking about it. Sure I’m sad, but I’m not broken sad.

It’s a fact, relationships end. I’m quite certain some of them are suppose to. Perhaps more then we’d like to admit. But we all grow, and change and evolve  in our own way. And sometimes that means that a relationship that did work for us, doesn’t anymore. It seems like a fairly natural, and inevitable existence. So why is that bad?

Why have we been sold on this idea that we should endure? That its better to stay in a relationship that doesn’t make us happy anymore, then it is to stop? I ask, better for who?

We have a party to celebrate beginnings, I think we should have one to celebrate the endings too.

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About mudly

Mud is main blog writer extraordinaire, picture guru, and the garden and adventure instigator. She loves to cook, but doesn’t much like following a recipe. She also loves typewriters, the color turquoise, and wearing tie dye with stripes. And she dorks out on permies.com while dreaming up and planning her next garden.

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This entry was posted on March 8, 2011 by in Everything All in One Place.

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