Call your own bluff
Do it. I dare you. Its effin’ invigorating. Do it once, and you’ll want to do it again. And again. And again. I’m not sure there would ever really be a reason good enough to stop, because you’d just call your own bluff, again. Unless of course you were too chicken.
Since January Mom and I have developed this underlying focus on moving forward. Instead of just talking about things we’d like to do, or changes we’d like to make, we talk about them and then we make steps to do them. We evaluate. We figure out why exactly we’re waiting, or saying no, then we decide if that makes any sense at all (like waiting till we have the cash money does make sense), or if we’re just afraid we might fail or it might not work.
I don’t remember exactly what started this domino effect, but one of these did, and we’ve just kept going:
- we decided to double the size of the garden we had last year, and to try and grow everything from seed ourselves, even though we didn’t do so well at that last year. right now we have growing approximately 500 onion seedlings, 20 broccoli, 12 spinach, and we’re waiting on eggplant to sprout. once it stops raining and the garden dries out, we plan on direct seeding more spinach and chard, as well as transplanting the onions.
- we took another look at our debt, personal and business, and paid off what we could and made a personal budget for ourselves for this year so that we stop spending without thinking. we have plans to be out from under my school loans and raggededge start up debt in the next 4 months, and perhaps my car by the end of the year.
- I took an internship with FloydFest just to get out of the house and meet people and decided I wanted to have a purpose to the time I spent there, so I made a proposal to be their merch person. Now, I’m responsible for organizing the data from last year to help determine what to sell this year, as well as coordinating ordering, printing, and set-up. I also get to sell the merch at Fandango. In exchange for that responsibility, Mom and I are FloydFesting VIP style this year.
- We budgeted for, and set aside, a start up fund for a rudimentary silk screen set up so that we can move forward on printing some of our own shirt designs and sayings that I’ve had tooling around in my head for YEARS. A secondary line of business that we’ve been talking about getting into for nearly 6 months. We are in the process of setting up shop in the basement and I’m percolating over our first design to print. In the meantime, I’ve made a proposal to Kickstarter – so keep an eye out for that in the near future.
- I decided I needed to quit the addiction that is Facebook, so I deactivated my account. I think this is my third week gone, and I’m not sure if I’m ever going back. I kinda like it over here on the other side.
- Mom and I are always reading about ways to change our diet to improve our health, and after reading a good portion of Cure Tooth Decay, my knowledge that sugar is evil (on a lot of levels, not just for your teeth) became an unavoidable reality that I couldn’t help but act on. So Mom and I have been hard core sugar free since the last week in February. We cheated the first two days, but since then we have literally eaten nothing with sugar in it – not even fruit. Mom, who hasn’t been able to lose weight in ages, has lost 4 pounds, as have I. And the ONLY thing we’ve changed is sugar. We eat as much of everything else we want.
- After months of saying I didn’t think we had time, I finally told Mom I’d be down without getting chickens, so she put a call in, and we’ll have baby chicks to go pick up in a month.
- We have been thinking about opening a farm to table cafe type restaurant in Floyd since a couple months after moving here and after visiting my cousin last month in Boone, we figured out that we could start in that direction by vending at the Friday Night Jamboree and Saturday Morning Farmer’s Market for minimal start up costs and commitment. Mom got the ball rolling and got in touch with Sustain Floyd to see if we would be welcome to do so, and now we are in the process of figuring out what is necessary to be certified by the health department.
- Last but not least, Trevor. I realized that while it was good for now, it wasn’t headed the right direction for me, mostly because it wasn’t headed anywhere at all. And as you can tell by now, I’m not really one for being stuck in the status quo. We had a couple of good long talks about things, and the conclusion we came to is that we’re in different places, in need of different things right now, and the best thing we can do is let each other go those different directions. Timing really is everything. Perhaps one day in the future we’ll be in the same place at the same time. Until then, I hope he finds happiness and whatever it is that he’s looking for.
When I think about it all and write it all down it feels and sounds like a lot. And I know that it is a lot. But for some reason Mom and I aren’t panicking over any of it. We just keep going, and keep refocusing, and keep moving forward. One thing leads to the next. Nothing seems insurmountable or impossible. The world is wide open.