The Hawk-Mo Hotwire

Micro Entrepreneurism, Simple Living & Art

Grace or Growl

In everything you try you will at some point meet the resistance. It might be your own resistance, or someone else’s, or both. But without a doubt you will encounter it. And once you overcome one, you will surely encounter another. It seems impossible to exhaust the resistance and so easy for it to exhaust you. But if ever being stubborn was counted as an attribute, now would be the time. The stubborn among us (me included) dig in. There are ways to do it gracefully, and then there are ways to stomp around and look like an ass.

I use to have a hard time being anything other then the ass. I’d just get mad and butt heads. Maybe it was my immature pride/ego. Eventually, I realized that as good and righteous as that feels (and damn does it), it doesn’t get you anywhere but closer to the chopping block. Surprisingly, pointing out their short comings and screw ups and inconsistencies and stupidities will do nothing to gain their favor. I lost a couple of jobs going about things like that. In fact, I got fired from the last 4 jobs I had for something along those lines before mom and I started officially started RAGGEDedge. Not that I’m too sad about that.

Maybe in all of that, somewhere, I actually learned something. Maybe. Maybe even something more then just that I don’t do well with authority figures.

I say this, because in the past week, two situations have come up where I managed to chose grace over growl. Both have to do with the opportunity to sell my new line of Be A Good Human shirts.

In the first case, an invitation was extended to us to share a group booth organized by our local yoga studio at FloydFest, only to have the invitation rescinded because another woman (who’s lived here longer and is more involved, etc) is selling her t-shirts and she wanted exclusivity. At first I wanted to respond with a quick jab about how un-Floydian or un-yoga spirited that was. But in the end, I just went for, “OK, that’s cool.”

Then, today, after sending an email to say we would like to continue vending at the Friday night artisan market for June, I was informed that it was already fully booked. When I enquired more about signing up for the rest of the season, I was sent an email that started, “This is how it works.” Which basically went on to say that an email is sent out at the beginning of every month, taking reservations for the next month. And since there are now more vendors then spots available, new vendors will be limited to two Fridays per month. And preference is given based on seniority and diversity. I was told that we missed June’s signup because we hadn’t been officially approved as a vendor yet, and therefore we weren’t on the email list. What I found odd, is that A. the information about how to reserve spots wasn’t included in the handbook that got sent with the application and B. I was sent my vendor approval email on April 21st, which should have been in plenty of time to get that June announcement. My moment of grace: Quite by chance, I saw the woman in charge of this in person today at the Harvest Moon, and while she tried to pretend she didn’t see me, I said a very smiley cheerful, “Hello!” and then came home and sent an email signing up for our allotted two spots a month for the rest of the season, mentioning that we would be happy to pay the vending fee upfront.

I know I still ruffled feathers, some of it unintentionally, some not. Which means I still have a long ways to go. But I can’t help but feel like this is marked progress. With suspicions of unfair treatment whispering in my ears, I was able to take a step back, rather then a knee jerk forward. I struck a better balance. Yet obviously it still irks me if I’m sitting here writing about it. Maybe next time I’ll just be able to let it go.


About mudly

Mud is main blog writer extraordinaire, picture guru, and the garden and adventure instigator. She loves to cook, but doesn’t much like following a recipe. She also loves typewriters, the color turquoise, and wearing tie dye with stripes. And she dorks out on while dreaming up and planning her next garden.

2 comments on “Grace or Growl

  1. Meka
    May 24, 2011

    Oh this is somethng I struggle with. Sounds so much like the me of the past and occoassionaly the present. I would butt heads and then regret the things I had said. Email is a great thing. I can politely take care of the situation which is how it should be done, while cursing at my computer:) It takes time but it comes around. Sometimes we can never let it go, but we can definitely handle ourselves better and that is what counts. I try to remember that that somewhere, sometime there is someone politely emailing me while cursing at their computer:)

    Great progress Mud!

  2. Terri
    May 24, 2011

    What a cool post mud – it was fun working w/ u today & we’ll look forward 2 having u w/ us at Vintage Virginia !!

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This entry was posted on May 23, 2011 by in Rants.

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